A little rambling

I just thought I would be a good blogger and write another blog. I haven't been up to too much lately, just a lot of work. I'm still waiting on all of my bloodwork that I had done last week. They said at least 10 days for that to be back in. I've decided that I need to lose weight (well, I decided that a long time ago), so I'm trying the weight watchers again. Last time I did it, I lost 30 lbs and then got lazy about it and stopped. I'm doing it at home since I've got the books and calculators, so we'll see how it goes. I need to get some motivation to exercise as well. I always think "Tomorrow, I'm going to go run on the treadmill, run with the dogs, etc." Then by the time it comes, I'm too lazy. I don't know what to do to get my butt moving. I know that the dr never said that I needed to lose weight, but I know I do. I'm sure that this will not hurt my chances of getting pregnant at all. It's getting to be the time where I would be close to giving birth if my first pregnancy would have lasted. It's always on my mind and I don't know what to do to not feel bitter about it. Almost daily, I think "I could be XX weeks right now. I could be finding out the sex right now. I could be garage saleing and looking at all of those baby clothes people love to sell." I wonder if it's ever something I'll fully get over? I just can't help but think how unfair it all is. I just wish I knew the reason that both times I've been pregnant they've ended like this? Hopefully those tests will have an answer for me?