Here I Am Again

Here I am, back at that ugly mental place again. My DH just told me that one of his friends is pregnant. They got married 5 months ago and are already finding out the sex this week. I told myself I wouldn't get upset about it, but here I am on the verge of tears again. I think the thing that really gets me is that when we signed their card for their wedding gift, we wrote "Love, L, J, and Baby." We had just had our 1st ultrasound and saw the heartbeat. The next day was the day I started bleeding and we found out later that we that there was no longer a heartbeat. Why can't I be happy for other people? I feel like the biggest piece of crap b/c I just can't be happy for others. What is wrong with me? I was doing great for a month or so, I felt like the old me again. As soon as I hear this, it's back to depressed and crappy feeling. Does that ever go away? I'm afraid that I will be like this for the rest of my life and I just want to be happy. Is that really too much to ask?